Settling Into British Boarding School: An Insider’s Guide For Parents
- 3 hours ago
- 4 min read
You’ve invested many hours and months ensuring that you are making the best British boarding school choice for your child, and now their start day is imminent. There’s nervous excitement as September and the new school year approaches.
Choosing the best British boarding school for your child is one of the most significant decisions a family makes, and it’s one our team at The Independent Education Consultants (TIEC) supports internationally based parents with throughout the year.
However, our support process doesn’t end, once a place offer is secured. As the new academic year begins, we’re in touch with our client families, helping them to prepare well and to do all we can to ensure the start of term is a happy and successful one for every child and family. For parents new to boarding, even the best British boarding schools can feel unfamiliar in those first few weeks.
Drawing on our experience guiding families through every stage of the boarding school journey, here’s our Insider's Guide to help you and your child to start the term with confidence.
Unpacking and settling into the boarding house room or dormitory
Arrival day sets the tone for the term. Label every single item, from school shoes to hairbrushes, as belongings do go astray in a busy boarding house. Photographs, duvet cover or a favourite blanket can help your child feel at home from the first night. On drop off day itself, help to unpack and settle in, touch base with key staff and say hello to other parents and then a brief and warm goodbye, tends to work far better than a lingering one. Most children settle more quickly once parents have left, even though the goodbye will certainly feel very difficult for you.
Know who is who in your child's boarding life
British boarding schools tend to have several pastoral roles that can be confusing to a new boarding parent. The tutor generally oversees academic progress. The housemaster or housemistress holds overall responsibility for welfare and integration within the boarding house. The matron manages day to day wellbeing, health and laundry, while a Head of Year and a Head of Boarding often sit above these roles for wider oversight should you wish to discuss higher level worries or concerns. Before term begins, or on arrival day, if you’re not sure who makes up the support team for your child, ask for names and contact details, and find out who to approach if you are worried, or simply want an update. Knowing this chain of communication in advance saves a great deal of anxiety later in the term, if worries emerge. Not hearing form your child is usually a good thing. However, it’s not easy being the parents at home waiting for news. It’s where we often step in to support and reassure worried client parents, or to help them by keeping in touch with schools for updates.
Understand the mobile phone and communications policy
Many British boarding schools restrict phone access, particularly in the first weeks of term. It can come as a surprise to new boarding parents that some schools do not allow children to phone home at all for the first fortnight or so. This is usually a deliberate policy, designed to help a child settle in and build independence, rather than a cause for concern. Ask the school directly what their approach is, so you know what to expect and are not caught off guard. You can also ensure your child understands this too. Writing a letter home can be an excellent way to hear news. Packing some pre-stamped and addressed envelopes and paper makes this an easier thing for your child to do.
Sign up for activities early and keep your child busy
Clubs, sport and other activities are often where new boarders form their first friendships and find their tribe of like-minded children, so encourage early sign up, rather than waiting to see how the first days feel. Activity lists can fill quickly, and missing a deadline can leave a child feeling left out in those crucial early weeks. Check with the boarding house or activities coordinator in good time. If you’re not sure, ask about this on arrival day.
Get uniform and kit right from day one
Few things upset a new boarder more than being singled out for missing kit in their first week. Go through the full uniform and sports equipment list carefully before term starts, including games kit, PE equipment and any specialist items required for individual sports. A thorough final check removes one avoidable source of stress at a time when your child is already adjusting to a great deal that is new. Be sure to name everything.
A final word on settling in and how to support a child who is experiencing homesickness
Some homesickness in the early weeks is normal, and it usually passes far more quickly than parents expect. Keep conversations with your child positive and try to focus on questions about what they are enjoying, about new friendships, new activities and positive experiences, rather than talking about feeling homesick.
Remember your child may contact you in a moment of unhappiness and then be happily engaged with friends 10 minutes later, while you are left feeling anxious and worried at home, particularly if it’s the middle of the night due to time difference.
Familiarise yourself with the term dates, exeat weekends and half term in advance, so you and your child both know when you will next see each other. Resist the temptation to over communicate in those first days and trust the pastoral team around your child to let you know if they are concerned.
If this piece on UK Boarding Schools has made you think considering British boarding schools could be the right option for your child, we offer a complimentary call for all families so we can explore this discussion further on an individual family basis. During the call we will ask you about your child, and your ambitions for their education. Then, we discuss how we are best to help you navigate the often-confusing waters of choosing, applying and securing an offer of a place to join the best British boarding school for your child and family.
Get in touch with us to find out more.
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